Stained

the stains that are on my window
the moonlight lights up the sky
the night is warm and humid
but i feel cold inside
shattered, smashed and broken
three words that describe my heart
the bad words have been spoken
we're back here at the start
all the screaming, pointless
all the hurt that's caused
no time for excuses
look at what we both lost
nothing can heal this wounds
not even the hands of time
you’re just a fading image
in this confused mind
we both might feel misjudged
so misunderstood
what happened to forever
what happened to me and you
no one is at fault
no one is to blame
there is no point fighting now
the outcome's the same
but now when i look at you
all i feel is hate
all the times you lied to me
was much more than i could take
if all good things must come to an end
I wish what we had was bad
but there’s no point crying now
there’s no point being sad
but I’ll never forget the way you laughed
or the way you kissed
waking up next to you
will be one thing that I’ll miss
i might learn to trust you again
i might try to forget
the memory of us together
the good times and the bad
though i hurts so much
how reluctant i may be
i guess this is goodbye
the end of you and me
is it just a gamble
well, the coin has been tossed
if it's just a gamble
well, this time we both lost- IAN FRANCIS LOW

Suicidal

Give me a gun so that i can blow my fucking head off;
i've had enough, will the whole world please just fuck off;
leave me alone , i've heard enough talk;
come any closer and my blood will be on the sidewalk;
stop looking at me, what?!you've never seen a guy up so high;
fuck you all! fuck off !just let me die;
i can't stand this world , i can't stand this life;
hmmmm ... imagine the wonders i could do with a knife;
Hey! i told you not to come any closer;
wait! can i have that gun in your holster;
what i'm gonna do will be more good than harm;
i don't care if i'm only 21;
the years that i've wasted soul searching;
can't compare to the pain that i'm feeling;
i might be crazy , i'm not mentally sound;
stop trying,SHUT UP! nothing you can do could make me come down;
the wind in my face,this feels so right;
look at the moon, what a lovely night;
a lovely night to see my guts all over the floor;
same time tomorrow i'll be in a morgue;

Mary..

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now Mary brings the lamb to school
Between two hunks of bread

Without you...

The glow from the moonlight
Lock myself up in my room
I'll cry myself to sleep tonight
"Us" was gone too soon...

Your picture's still on my wall
I kept the notes you wrote
I'm waiting for you call
With one last glimpse of hope...

Should have known right from the start
Then to give away my heart
So easily to you

But i just can't comprehend
I really do not understand
Why you do the things you do

But i guess i'll be strong
I guess i'll move on...
Without you...

Though the sun is up outside
It's still raining in my room
But my tears have all dried
I'll learn to get over you...

Ripped your pictures of the wall
I burned the notes you wrote
You never loved me at all
It's time for me to let go...

Even after all those times
You reassured me you'd always be mine
I guess those words were a bunch of lies...

Why did you have to swear you love me then
Just to cause me so much pain in the end
Even after how hard i've tried...

But i'm better off alone
I'm better on my own...
Without you...

I don't mean to be rude in any way
But how could you fucking do this to me
You took me for a fool
But still i,
Don't know why,
i trusted you...
i still love you...

Ok... it's just a song i wrote if you were wondering...

Nursery Rhyme

Hickory Dickory Dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one...
AND THE OTHERS ESCAPED WITH MINOR INJURIES

Help me with this...

Which part of the nursery rhyme did they say that humpty dumpty was an egg... and why most nursery rhymes end tragically ... jack broke his crown... the three blind mice... humpty dumpty...etc.. and why does donald duck tie a towel round his waist when he comes out of the shower when he doesn't even wears pants in the first place...hmmmm ...

Help me with this...

Where do onions come from... like where are the seeds and shit stored... cos when it sprouts... you get spring onions not onions... hmmmm

The Weather Sucks...

Fucking hell...the stupid weather is making me damn sick... sick to the point i don't even feel like drinking or smoking...that's some fucked up shit... my nose is killing me... dripping like a tap... anyways haven't really decided what to go as... drag queen?? stripper?? i dunno... i'll figure something out... PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE...WHERE'S THE LOVE IN THIS WORLD...PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE...WHERE'S THE LOVE IN THIS WORLD...YOU'RE ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS ..WITH ONE HEART... SO WON'T SOME GIRL PLEASE COME AND SUCK MY COCK...

I don't mean anything by this mummy...you know i love you...

MY CONFESSION:
dear father; i didn't mean to kill my mother;
didn't mean to cause her death and blame it on my baby brother;
i didn't mean to tie that rope;
so tightly round her throat;
should have listen to her when she was screaming,"LET GO! LET GO! LET GO!;
i didn't mean to step on her fingers and pull at her hair;
she was being unreasonable, she was being unfair;
if she had just let me go to the party last week;
she wouldn't have had that black eye and bruised cheek;
i didn't mean to use the pliers to pull out her teeth;
she wouldn't shut up,kept asking,"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?";
So i replied, "YOU WANNA KNOW HOW? BITCH!THIS IS HOW!";
that's when i stuck my fingers in and rip both her eyeballs out;
she was screaming and crawling on the bathroom floor;
so i pulled her tongue out and kicked her in the jaw;
she pretty much didn't say anything after that;
that's when i smashed the head in with a baseball bat;
it all started when i was thirteen;
she would come home drunk, and she wouldn't quit screaming;
she blamed me for how daddy just packed up and left;
how she's struggling to survive,how she's so heavily in debt;
she keeps complaining and saying that i'm a burden;
well,they shouldn't have used those cheapo condoms;
why the fuck did she bother to raise me as a child;
i'd rather be raised by a pack of wolves in the wild;
but now her problem has been solved,i sure hope she's happy;
i did it for her, " AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME MUMMY?"
Once,she cut my allowance cos she caught me with a joint in my mouth;
it's all her fault!! but just look at her now;
just look at how she's lying there, as quiet as can be;
father!you still there?;are you listening to me?;
maybe i'll chop her up into pieces,and feed her to the dogs;
or maybe i'll burn her to ashes,i can't leave her there to rot;
she told me she loved me,she said that she care;
but when i needed somebody,she was never there;
when i think of her,only hate fills my mind;
what happened was justice; to you its a crime;
so father please forgive me for what i've done;
and give me strength to dig this hole 6 feet underground

One Last Thing...

Halloween is coming... and i not really sure what to go as... fuck i wanna go as a construction worker ..that means some bangladash will wake up tomorrow with his yellow helmet missing...fuck... where do you actually buy those helmets man...those yellow ones... sheesh... but you know what halloween is like...its cool at the start where you get laughs from people..and you joke bout your costume..then it just gets retarded in the middle of the night... like last year when i went as a convent chick... i felt stupid as soon as i hit the dancefloor... but i loved the breeze i can feel on my balls when i was walking around and dancing...you convent girls should feel damn priviledged... shit if given a choice...i'd make all soldiers put on those dress-like thingy... and i think its damn fun to "CHOW KHENG" ...love to expose...hahaha... maybe this year i'll go with some tight-ass shorts... make it so tight till my balls are squeezed out the sides... hahaha cool... eye candy baby... i wanna buy a thong... hahaha... i'll try to find a scanner and post the pictures of me in a tennis skirt and my younger sister's top and a tennis racquet...some kinky shit man...anyone know how those vibrating condoms work??? i wanna try ...sounds interesting...like where do the batteries go and shit...orite..that's all for today.. must get back to work...

Pau..Just For you... you're welcome

We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh i wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess i lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think i was nice
Now you tell all your friends that i'm the antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, i'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?

You know, i even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft




Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime i get to thinking you don't love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think that i'm ugly and you say that i'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while i was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

On this day.....

A sore back... a tired mind ... and the weather's been a bitch the whole day... but still damn happy that finally after 4 years...finally got the tattoos on my back shaded ... and yeah Pau i really can't find the comment thing in your blog.. so complicated... aiyo... it's another month or so till my birthday... dunno what should i do to celebrate...i'm sick of getting drunk every birthday... I'm bored out of my mind ... boredom engulfs this poor boy... ahhh.... somebody help me!!!!

Just did the shading for the tattoos on my back yesterday... this is just the shading.. will be getting the colour done soon...my back's damn sore man... can't even take off my shirt on my own...oh yeah.. like to thank Klinton of Hybrid Tattoos...

today....part 1

gonna get my back tattooed today... will post the pictures for viewing... hahahahah... i'm suppose to be damn tired but somehow my eyes can't seem to close... think its from the two bottles of green tea i drank... it has caffine in it i think ... that's all for now... to be continued...

Cock man

The Bio mech below... damn proud of this one... sheesh... on santry the whole of next week not forgetting last friday when i did like a 11pm to 7 am shift then continued working from 8am to 5 pm then heading down to jemme's place to jam... holy shit... i'm not really good at maths but fucking shit.. that's a hell lot of hours... damn shagged... the jam session was like two hours... and we only managed to do the reason by Hoobastank... more like Hooba-Stink!! but actually ok la... not so bad for the first time... and oh yeah... PAU.... thanks for your comments... but then... it seems like your the only one thats giving me comments...seems like you're one really bored girl huh.... but i appreciate you insulting me anyhow...hahahhaha.... i got headaches on and off... think i'm dying.. if i do... please bury my samick and my peavey guitar and my tattoo machine with me... hahahaha ... tonight i'm gonna get wasted... i'll try... with my limited cash flow....

.............................................. 

Ian Francis Low can hardly stay awake for more than 15 minutes during a movie....and can never stay serious for more than say... 15 seconds?...Eccentric,does real good impersonitions of faggots( Swears he's not Gay )and gets a kick out of pain,hurt himself deliberately on a couple of occasions,but most of the time unintentionally...like backflipping into the lake not knowing that there was a flight of stairs submerged underwater directly where he landed ... hardly takes a proper photograph,very vain,very egoistic,really hard to convince, must-see-with-his-own-eyes type of guy,really unromantic...Always steals cigarettes from Kim...Ian loves pushing the limit on how much his liver can take from all the alcohol he consumes,loves coming home drunk,loves doing voice-overs for tamil movies with the mute button on,loves doing funny stuff with his comforter,loves eating,eats anything edible for that matter,loves animals,loves his pooch,Milk...and misses Vickie like hell, loves Michelle,Kim,Mum and Dad,loves himself even more,loves FU21H..his cruiser,loves Dad more for buying the bike for him..hahahaha,loves both Miss Samick and Miss Peavey... his precious babies( they're his guitars by the way ),loves watching the news,loves tits,clits,porn,loves tattoos,getting tattoos and doing tattoos,loves kissing,hugging,fucking then cuddling,loves Marlboros, loves punk rock music and anything related to that,loves writing songs and poetry,loves orgasms,loves staring at the evening sky,loves sunsets,loves making people laugh,loves playing the fool,loves flashing his ass in public,loves jokes,loves jamming,loves clubbing( But Zouk's getting damn crowded ),loves looking at himself in the mirror,loves squeezing out blackheads and the occasional pimple,loves dimples,loves comedies,loves digging his nose,loves scratching his buttocks while pissing ( come one.. I'm sure he's not the only one )loves running into walls,loves banging his head against hard objects Ian hates waking up early , hates sleeping halfway through a show ( but really can't help it... short attention span ) hates crowds , hates racist and malays ... hahaha ... just playing , hates empty beer bottles , hates being broke , hates wasting food , hates fats , hates reading , hates waiting ( too fucking impatient ), hates saving money , hates rude people , hates sweating , hates bills , hates deadlines , hates being told what to do , hates fun stuff not involving him , hates having one last cigarette in the box , hates having no more cigarettes in the box and lastly Ian hates hating , cos hate is bad , hate causes nothing but hurt and hate is wrong ... so everyone should love , make love , IT'S WRONG TO BE A VIRGIN!!!! wait.. that's totally out of point ... hahahah ... Ian is a really nice guy thats why .... :p

This is M.I.L.K... my puppy... milk stands for Michelle-Ian-Lilian-Kim ...  

OK

I'm feeling better day by day... at least now i wake up with a fucking smile everyday.... except today... i had a fucking nightmare that milk( my puppy ) got scolded by my mother and he jumped out the window... seriously i cannot take anymore of this kindda shit... the last time vickie fell out the window... i was depressed like hell... but anyways on a lighter note... my under studies have arrived... yipee... work load cut in half... and counting down another six month till i get out of the fucking army... yesterday was freaky.... see ... Alan , Ben and I went down to K union for a drink... then i sent ben down to zouk to sign him in... then on the way back to cine ... ROADBLOCK!!!! damn fucking lucky i pass the breathelizer test man shit... my heart nearly jumped outta my body balls... so lesson is never drink and ride.... drink first... wait a little while ..then ride....hahahaha... and i need help... i'm not sure bout my feelings for celine... she's damn nice and all but i dunno whether she's the one and i don't wanna go back with her as a rebound... she doesn't deserve to be hurt again.... as again... i have to be sure...ok nothing else interesting happen that is worth posting... oh yeah... talk about dumb... my understudy... see this dude's got diabeties... mild one la... but the fucker needs medication la... knowing that he forgot his medication... that idiot drank KICKAPOO.... our dear friend is now in hospital... get well soon dumb ass... sheesh...

When the chicken learns to swim , it will drown

hmmmmm....

reality... was lost... but now i'm seeing things more clearly... now that annabelle's out of the picture... i'm actually happier... i'm not in denial... its cos now i can live my life... have fun ... and its the end all the worrying and insecurities... i thought God was punishing me...but then i realised it was a blessing in disguise... and God also blessed me with friends who were there for me all the way... so i decided to post a letter of appreciation to all those beautiful people...

KIM LOW- thanks for keeping the truth from me and making me learn the hard way...knowing myself ... there's no other way that i learn... love you bitch

CELINE-Oh my god... i really dunno how to thank you.. you were there for me all the time and yet i took you for granted.. but you still never gave up hope.. you were always two steps behind and ready to catch me when i fall.....and a week ago... i fell...well...and you were there to catch me and help me back on to my feet... even after all those times i was such an asshole... even after all those times i hurt you... you were still there... i realised how special you are to me... i mean you even helped me when it hurt you so much... i'm so sorry...i really am... thanks for telling me the truth , thanks for everything.... if not for you i'd be still living a lie with that sleazy two timing slut ... thanks...

SHIKIN-Joint best friend ... you are the best... i can't really say that you were the nicest in helping me... you practically pried open my eyes so that i would see the truth... i never thought i'd say this but you were right all along... sorry for ever doubting you and being such a stubborn little bastard... thanks for the scolding and i'm sorry bout evey comment i made bout your relationship... what would i do without you... i never thought i'd say this too...but..i love you... thanks....

SUJATA-Joint best friend... what can i say.. you were there almost everyday on MSN to hear me out... helped me get her number when i was in paranoid mode... and the advice you gave.. and the times you were there for me... Shikin was always the hot headed one but you were the total opposite... sweet as hell but you delivered your point .... what would i do without you too.... i love you too... ( don't worry..i'm not on drugs )

VERN-mei...thanks for letting me pour out my feeling to you.... and thanks for the advice... guess you were the only one who was supportive with whatever my choices were ... you the bestest... for all the wrong doings in my life...there's one thing that i got right...and that's knowing you..love you mei

PAU-thanks for letting make fun of you... hahaha... hope you don't take anything i said to heart... BANG-GA-LEE ONE SO LONG......

ANNABELLE- thanks for letting me feel something that i've never felt in a long time.... HATE...

When the chicken learns to swim... the water will be contaminated with bird flu and all the fishes will die.... @---->----- R.I.P. Christopher Reeves