My balls are jumping as i jump for joy

It s a start of a new week and the end of the month.. inching ever so close to the day i get out of this hell hold they call the army.. Yippeee...

Poor lil' siser.. get well soon yeah..

oh anyway... decided what to get Hock for his birthday... top secret... Agent Sujata and Shikin will be my accomplice... ok ... nothing much to write for the moment... get well soon vern.. take care babe... will be seeing you later...

THE GOVERNMENT RAISED THE CIGARETTE PRICES AGAIN

CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE
CHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYECHEEBYE

Let me sum this all up

Extemely retarded... everythings moving so slow... i guess that's the case when you're approaching ORD...
Have so little to do and bored as usual... wonder what i'm gonna do after the army... anyways...
I'm intending to quit smoking... not doing a very good job..but fuck it... at least i'm trying... "A" for effort...
Went to do a little shopping in Malaysia ... ok la.. ate a little ...shopped a little... nothing really much to say bout that... oh yeah i got a new tattoo... the healing process has began... let's welcome the itching.. damn irritating... Oh yeah... Estelle and Jane flying to aussie on saturday... sighzzz... Gone too soon... gonna miss those two... Hurry back yeah...
Estelle-Everytime you look at a five dollar bill... think of me... testicle breath...hahahah
Jane- yesh yesh... i will cut down on the alcohol and cigarettes to save up to make the overseas call just to say "hi!!"

Alcohol is getting the better of me... damn it... this feeling inside tells me that i'm gonna die a lonely alcoholic... shit... this country is too fucking small.... i'm gonna explode.. the SAME pubs , SAME clubs , SAME faces.... AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

shit... Singapore is gonna turn in dust soon... close to 400 hundred bush fires... and the weather is fucking killer... 35.5 degrees outside... you know what this means... hot weather equals hot bikini babes ... ice blended long island tea.. Party!!! We should have a nude beach... and we should have cubicles just for fornication and masturbation... uniSEX toilets indeed....okok... as you can tell i'm fucking bored...

Congrats to the TOTO winners ... fucking lucky bastards... if i ever win the lottery ... i'd donate it all to a worthwhile cause... like the H.I.G.H Fund.... the HELP-IAN-GET-HIGH Fund...

ok... i must make a promise ....

PROMISE TO SELF-
Quit smoking by the end of this month... no wait..next month... erm..no.. two months time... i'll just try la...

NONSENSE

I, Ian Francis Low, swear to tell the whole lie and nothing but bullshit...

I feel like kicking my own groin, i feel growing some tits...

Why do i seek pleasure in causing people pain...

Call me a saddist, I think i'm insane

I think i'm mentally unstable, or maybe i'm just bored

Feel like running then tripping then falling face first onto the floor

Actually deep inside me... i have the makings of a nice guy

So stick your hand up my ass and see what you can find

People say i'm strange , some say i'm different

Have they looked in the mirror recently...man..they must have had ugly parents

Yada yada..i've got nothing in my mind at this time...

So i'll go yada yada again , hey! it actually rhymes...

Some please staple my scrotum to the chair...

You know what i like more...Pink Underwear

You're sitting there wasting your time...

I'm amazed you bother reading my poem...awww...you fucking two-headed swine

blah blah blah..i've ran out of things to type again

blah blah blah..blah blah blah..something that rhymes with again

That's a nice wall over on my left

I wonder if i poked myself in the eye..will i go deaf?

Ok... today is the day i'll set things straight...

I'm like this cos i was abused as a child almost everyday

They would hang me upside down and tie bricks to my balls

They made clean the floor with my tongue and eat the paint off the walls

They stuffed a fork up my anus and made sit down on a wooden chair

They would pull out my finger nails and burn off my hair

Ok... i'm just playing ...my imagination ran wild again

blah blah blah..blah blah blah..something that rhymes with again

I'll end this poem with a quote that has no relation whatsoever with this nonsensical
bullshit

If a man hasn't found anything he would die for...He's not fit to live...

Peace!-Ian Francis Low

Talk bout wierd dreams...

OK...this afternoon i feel asleep watching tv in camp... everything in the dream was as foggy as usual...i was riding off to god knows where... when i moved off ...i accidentally dropped my glasses on the one way street..but the funny part was i wasn't able to pull over to pick it up..but instead...the bike just kept accelerating...so i found a junction and made a U-turn..i then got lost...happens alot in reality too... i was searching for the way back...going through shopping malls and then eventually east coast park... but i just couldn't seem to find the one way street where i dropped my glasses... i even went up flights of stairs on my chopper... it all ended when i crashed straight in the back of a car cos my front brakes didn't work...my bike was smashed..the cars booth was badly dented but i was ok... the only thing the driver said to me is " OH...YOU MUST PAY YOU MUST PAY!!" why do i keep dreaming of motorcycle crashes...geez

I'll let you in...

THE DARKEST DAY..

The day i found out my parents were separating would be the darkest day of my life... it was wierd cos apart from the things i couldn't comprehend , the hurt and fear.. there was embarrassment... embarrassment cos in school ... most of my peers probably were not going through what i was going through... so i had no one i could really talk to or share my dilemma with... i doubt they would have understood... and the teachers weren't the most inviting people to talk to at that time... and so i kept it inside cos at that age you never wanted to be different... being different meant that you had to put up with countless stares by prejudice eyes and whispering behind your back...and at that age... everyone was fucking straight forward... it was more of an ego thing... and the fear of rejection made it even worst... its not like now where i can go fuck it and just ignore those narrrow minded idiots... it was really a hard time for me... but each day somehow made me stronger... but all this emotions never showed in my everyday life... i simply just kept it all bottled inside...

THE BROKEN HOME...

As time passed... i somewhat gave up hope...hope that one day Mum and Dad would put they're differences behind them and try to rekindle the love they once had... but there's was still a part of me that wishes that they would get back together... and we could be a family again... picking up the pieces wasn't easy... the whole family fell apart... i would see Dad once in a while and it was just really hard...Kim and I were staying with my mum and michelle was at my granny's...it was more or less once or twice a week that the three of us were together at the same place.... The three of us and Dad moved in to the apartment in Tampines... You would think that time apart would bring us closer... but hell no... I'm not saying that things were horrible... but lets just say that the word " COMPROMISE" wasn't in our vocabulary... so there was alot of tension and alot of sibling rivalry and living conditions in the Tampines apartment was terrible... it was a big house but the floors were all dirty... the was hardly anything to eat... i remember once opening the fridge to see only bottles of water... thank god for instant noodles... Dad stayed over sometimes but spent most of the nights at his girlfriend's place...and pick us up in the morning and send us to school but Dad did his best to provide... it was then when i became more independent... we would see Mum occasionally ... I got posted to a secondary school near my Mum's place ... not long after that i moved in with Mum... By then the divorce didn't seem much of an issue anymore... everyone was carrying on with their lives... Staying with Mum was nice... Sometimes i think Mum has an obsession with marketing... She overbuys sometimes...but i'm not complaining... the downside of it all is that Mum and her boyfriend quarrelled alot...So there was a couple of sleepless nights with plenty of screaming... Michelle moved back to my Gran's to concentrate on her studies... Kim eventually came to stay with Mum and I ... And that's when all hell broke loose... It was utter violence almost everyday... I was the authority-seeking elder brother and she was the irritating lil' sister... Lost count on how many remote controls we broke fighting over the tv... We seriously fought alot... we had our diffences but never thought of compromising...i don't know why..stubborn assholes..


THE REASON WHY...

It was never till later in my mid teens when i realise the reason for the divorce , the seperation... the whole damn thing... When Mum and I stayed together... some nights she would come back very pist... i'm not sure whether it's cos of the alcohol or what but i could tell that Mum was one really stressed out lady... i knew that Mum was really stressed out with work but it was the grudge that she held against me Dad that was really obvious when she flared up... Apparently , my Dad wasn't the most responsible father or husband... He had affairs and he got himself heavily in debt in credit card bills... Mum paid for everything... even when we were born... she paid for the hospital bill... And at one point in time Dad changed cars really often...and my Mum had to help him with the down payments everytime he switches his ride...according to her ... she's like supporting 4 children... My dad , like me , is a really outgoing person... I guess fun got in the way of being a good husband ... Dad was a good father...and he still is... he spent alot of time with us when we were little ... Mum did the disciplinary part...that's why it always seemed that we enjoyed Dad's company more than Mum's ... But it has always been Mum who was funding for most of the expenditures... She has always been the one who has been working so hard just to give the three of us a good life...She did all this almost single-handedly and she did all this with little or no appreciation... And Mum gave most of her life up to work... just for us...the "kiddoes" ... When people say, " I have the greatest mum in the world!!"... they're lying... Cos that's my line...


Then...NOW...

Michelle recently finished her studies... Kim is still finding the meaning in life..and I'm finishing my time in the army and my tattooing thingy is working out pretty well... Mum got a 50% share in the pub and we got a new addition to the family... MILK...our puppy... i guess everything turned out for the better...Mum seems happier... MILK plays the biggest part in that... sometimes i think she loves the dog more than us... hahaha ...just kidding-Ian Francis Low

I really feel like shitting

OK...this is no joke... i seriously have a bad stomachache...been farting since this morning but i just felt like keeping the shit in for a little longer... and my shit is at the end of the line... the doors are opening any time now and my shit is gonna see the outside world... it's like giving birth but i don't think babies smell that bad... any way .. be there for the baby...i mean crap shower... hahaha... ok.. i just farted... can smell a little bit of garlic from the LOR MEE i had.. damn... this is torture... i'm like pretty good with the muscles in my rectum.. got really good control... damn... its like at the edge then i squeeze it back in...I'm talented... wonder what it'll look like... watery or hard... i putting my money on watery cos of the beer last night... beer prevents constipation i tell you...i seriously need to go but i'll hold it in for a little bit more .... pain for pleasure... okok... the next one doesn't feel like fart... LATER...