I really feel like shitting

OK...this is no joke... i seriously have a bad stomachache...been farting since this morning but i just felt like keeping the shit in for a little longer... and my shit is at the end of the line... the doors are opening any time now and my shit is gonna see the outside world... it's like giving birth but i don't think babies smell that bad... any way .. be there for the baby...i mean crap shower... hahaha... ok.. i just farted... can smell a little bit of garlic from the LOR MEE i had.. damn... this is torture... i'm like pretty good with the muscles in my rectum.. got really good control... damn... its like at the edge then i squeeze it back in...I'm talented... wonder what it'll look like... watery or hard... i putting my money on watery cos of the beer last night... beer prevents constipation i tell you...i seriously need to go but i'll hold it in for a little bit more .... pain for pleasure... okok... the next one doesn't feel like fart... LATER...